"There were times when we would look at each other - oh Mother, I could hardly breathe." This contains elements of the first phase of our love lives and the second phase but it also contains a more developed third phase. I'll explain. 1. There is a sense of childish infatuation and lust in those words that cannot be denied, 2. but there is no logic behind this statement for Maria is planning on taking vows of celibacy, 3. and yet there is an austere maturity that is developing. This is Maria thinking out loud. Her understanding has not yet caught up to her vocal chords. She is saying that she loves.
Nietzsche would say that this statement is both Apollonian and Dionysian. It fits the Apollonian structure and form of true love. It is the embodiment of true and everlasting love, unique and individual, it serves to define her feelings.
And yet the very same statement is wildly Dionysian. It captures wild lust and embodies her sophomoric attraction to that which she has never experienced. She is drawn away from her life of order into a chaotic realm where nothing is sure.
One could say that true love requires both attributes although they are diametrically opposed to one another. What could be more drab than love without some amount of teenage lust? And what could be more unfulfilling than unbridled lust without some amount of the unfailing devotion that is love? Both make up true love.
And once again, I couldn't tell you why Maria worked out when the Baroness didn't. One thing is sure, The Baroness got it wrong when she said, "There's nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him." That wasn't it. She assumes that the fault rests only with Maria. That the Captain "Just couldn't resist." But we find out later why it didn't work out when the Captain says, "Well, you can't marry someone when you're in love with someone else... can you?"
I guess that is the the heart of the problem. There is no reason behind it. He is just in love with someone else.
But that someone else is someone who understands him. Maria says of him, "I can't ask him to be less than he is." For all her inexperience and naivety, she happens to be more right for Von Trapp than the one that logic approved.
So the next time you are feeling like you don't have any idea what is going on, just remember that Feeling may sweep you up at any second and all you can do is go where it takes you or bow out. And if you are in a relationship, don't forget the "Maria Problem". There is no way to prepare for it. But just be aware that there is no logic behind what you feel. Just obey. The answer to the question, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" is, "You don't."
Take all this for what it's worth.
[OK my fellow Men, keep following because the next post will all be about motor oil and chainsaws.]
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