A Fair Warning

This is a bathroom story. I had to pee. It happens sometimes. This time it happened at work. I walked in and saw this old guy standing at the middle of the three urinals, in clear violation of proper urinal etiquette. Rather than opting to wait, I just went to the closest to the door. So I done did ma' business, and was zipping up when said old guy (STILL at the urinal) turned to me and said, "Be grateful for your young days. A steady stream and strong flow doesn't last long." To which I replied chuckling, "Thanks. I'll remember that."

And I will. I was grateful for that small reminder that the clock is always ticking. I've been in a contemplative mood all day since then. I was walking up my stairs on my way home from a vigorous run (partly still motivated from the bathroom incident) and I was remembering, not thinking, I miss my freshman year in college. Things were fun then. After having that thought I had to laugh at myself because I didn't think things were all that grand when I was in the moment Freshman year. In reality, a lot of really crappy things happened freshman year. The funny thing about time passing is that it automatically and simultaneously also applies a rose-tinting. We forget pain. We forget heartbreak. We forget stress. We don't forget happy moments. I think the function of this paradox is to try and remind us that we are in "the good ol' days" right now. Today. If we keep in mind that we will look back with longing on days like today 20 years from now, we will live differently.

None of this makes problems go away or pain any less real. But maybe we can react differently and perhaps even preemptively apply that rose-tinting. This is advice so often heard and repeated that it is much worse than cliche. It is also that way for a reason. Every one of us needs this lesson. We all should keep in mind that "a steady stream and a strong flow doesn't last forever." I am grateful for a normal sized prostate.

[Keep following. I know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.]

Did I ever tell you of the day that I lost faith in humanity?

I had just started my new job at the Costco(mpany) and I was enjoying my simple yet satisfying job as a cashier's assistant, when my bubble was broken. And old man and his wife muscled their overladen cart towards our stand and I offered my services like usual. As I began unloading their items the grandma (who was pleasant enough) noticed that their was a hole in her over sized bag of dinner rolls. She told me that she wanted to get a new one and promptly started to make her way to the back of the store.

Her husband, upon observing this little interaction, then tore into me with a bitter tone usually reserved for persons who have killed close relatives or pets, "I can't believe you would let her do that herself!"
Astonished, I replied, "Uhh, I'm sorry, wha...?"
"NO, sorry doesn't fix this. I can't believe you would let an old woman do that herself. She has a bad knee you know!"
"..."
"There is no way to fix this now. Is it or isn't it store policy that you run back and get things we need?"
Not knowing that it isn't store policy, but rather a service that we choose to render, "Uhh, I guess so."
Now even more livid, "NO! Is it or isn't it? Give me a straight answer!"
"Yes?"
His lips curled as he revealed a mouth full of aging teeth and asked, "Then why didn't you do it?"
"I don't know, sometimes we go back for stuff if the members want us to..."
"You're a mistake! I should talk to a manager!"
Now getting fed up with this belligerent old fool, "Do you want me to? Because I can go get one!"
"You're lucky I don't!"
"Well, then I'll remember next time..." Just then a supervisor told me it was time for me to go out and push carts before I said ".. to do better." Or was it, "to avoid jerk old people who feel entitled to hand and foot service because they survived the Great Depression?"  I can't remember which. 

So, to this old guy: if sorry doesn't make it better and there is no way to fix the problem in your mind, why bring it up? I just can't understand how people can be this way. I can understand mentioning to me that you would rather have me go back and get something, but to lay into me like that? It was something else. If someone goes to do something themselves, I am not about to physically stop them. And apparently I was supposed to tap into my omniscient powers to know that this particular sixty five year old woman had a bad knee. In a place that is often labeled as happy valley this kind of thing happens way too often. What took me aback was the venom with which he addressed me right out of the gates. You would honestly think I had punched his wife in the face by the way he spoke to me. It was so amazing I can't even get upset about it.

I may have lost faith in humanity that day if it had not been for a sweet old mexican woman who was lost in the parking lot. She couldn't find her car and I offered to help her. When we finally found her car she wrapped her wrinkled hands around my cheeks, looked deep into my soul and said, "God bless you." And all of the rancor about the days proceedings that had been driving my legs simply slipped out of me.

Sometimes the outliers of society, the murderers, slanderers, and liars tend to shape our opinions of humanity at large. This was a lesson to me that for every grumpy old man there is out there, there are fifty sweet old women.

[Keep following. Next time I'll tell you about the time I met David Hasselhoff.]