15 June 2014

There Is No Objective Proof That Your Dad Is The Best

Confession: I tried all day to think of poetic analogies and witty chunks of phrasing to encompass a post for my dad on Father's day. I tried to think of subtle reversals and pondered my deep poignant feelings regarding such an important subject. But nothing came. No bolts from the blue. No muse alighted upon my shoulder. So instead of sublime, I went with sincere.

Parentage, like most things in life, is a happy coincidence. We are born under a particular set of circumstances and have little say in the matter. Despite this obvious truth, it is easy to develop a sense of entitlement to what we were dealt by the shadowy hand of chance. For some reason this is especially apparent to me on Father's Day. I could have been born to a single-mother household just as easily as not. What I am trying to say is that I don't deserve my family. Especially my dad. But I'm not grateful because of chance. To me that feels a little like being grateful for the momentary surprise one feels when finding a dollar on the street.


Fathers are also pretty common. Most people have one. But not everyone has a Dad. Still, there are lots of Dads and Fathers out there fathering away. It's not that special. That's not why I'm grateful for my dad.

Like many other Dads, mine happened to be around when I was growing up. He made sure to try his best to provide for me. He worked at a job. He did what was generally expected of him. But that's also not why I'm grateful. I'm not grateful for his job. Although it is a little more rare for Fathers to be around than it used to be, I'm not grateful for his mere presence.

I am grateful for who he is. Despite the tragic circumstances of his youth, he has fashioned a life worthy of note. He is successful not only at his job, but as a father and now grandfather. I am grateful because he is kind. I am grateful because every time he lost his temper, he apologized. I am grateful because he inspires me to be better. I am grateful because he reigned in a lazy teenager and taught me to work when I didn't want to. I'm grateful because he taught me (and is still teaching me) to dream big and follow my bliss. I am grateful because he has taught me to walk the harder path because it is right. I'm grateful for my father because he is a paragon of honesty, a trait that I want desperately to emulate.


If I grow up to be like him, I can die a happy man. I love you, Dad.

PS - My dad can beat up your dad.

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