I was a missionary once. I had the pleasure of meeting a man named Jusup Wilcosz. He lived in the 38th story of a run-down apartment complex in Stuttgart. The hulking man carried himself gingerly. He wore baggy sweatpants and spoke with a deep, booming voice. He smelled of alcohol most of the time. I guess you could say teaching Jusup was one of my own Book-of-Mormon-Musical moments when I learned that some scars are too violent for my sunny and simple understanding of the world to repair. Some sicknesses go too deep for words to mend. Some pains take root within the soul, and there they stay, compressing the conscience like a slow-turning vice. What could I do for this man? I was naive. I was young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. What could I offer him that other sources couldn't?
A signed copy of his book called "Was Bleibt?" He wrote Keep on pumping! at the bottom. |
Jusup's apartment was dirty. It was littered with stacks of papers filled with his curling, heavy handwriting. He would always offer us milk or tea or water and would sit across from us sipping his milk from a tiny tea cup that looked even smaller in his massive hands. Jusup has lived more than most people ever will. He would often speak of his glory days while leading us around the cramped space and showing us pictures of him lifting weights. His obvious favorite was a black-and-white print of him and Arnold Schwarzenegger training together. Speaking of these times would bring a broad smile to his face, (never mind the drops of milk suspended in his beard).
Arnold and Jusup doing what they do best. |
Fast-forward twenty years. As often happens when one hits rock bottom, they find God waiting. Some may argue that it is weakness and desperation that leads people into believing in God, but I believe that that is how God intended it to be. That humility leads to inner strength and conviction. For all his accomplishments, Jusup wasn't as strong as he thought. My companion and I made earnest efforts to get him to stop drinking and come to church with us. But it seemed for every step forward he would take, he would then take two steps backwards. But I loved him in my own way. I could never be angry with him for his apparent lack of progress, and eventually it became comforting to me just to hear him say that it did him good to meet with us. And that became enough for me.
My companion Elder Norris and Jusup in his apartment. |
If I brought some small measure of comfort to a broken, hopeless man, then my job was done.
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