So my blog just hit 11,000 pageviews. I know this is only due to the fact that I have ten really devoted followers who refresh my home page a hundred or so times each time they visit. So for those dedicated few I want to say thank you. Sincerely, without your support it would be hard to keep doing what I do. Thank you for visiting my small corner of the internet. The page views are great, but the best thing is hearing face-to-face how you laughed or cried or thought deeply about something I've written. I write for myself, but I also write to share with others, and I am grateful for your support.
That said, a little commentary on some trends I've noticed. I like getting attention for my humorous posts, and they get a lot of response. My posts about love garnered some minor interest from people who know me. My poetry must be terrible because it seems mostly ignored. But far and away the most interesting thing that has happened with my blog was the recent post about women. The response was incredible. That post was shared over and over and that post was marked by a 250% increase in the number of views over my other posts. This is interesting and is a testimony to me that what I wrote was true, potent, and most of all it was relevant.
I like giving people what they want, so I want to post something along that same vein a little more often. Not so often that I would come off as pandering to my readers, but I think there is more to be said. I'm also going to try to post more often. Since I am now an alumnus I have no more excuses. So hold me to it. And I don't plan on stopping poetry posts. I figure if I force feed you, you'll grow to like them. Also if anyone is interested in reading snippets of my fiction, let me know so I can tell you it's not ready yet.
[Keep Following.]
20 May 2013
10 May 2013
Fitzgerald Rolling
First of all, a little plug for my mother, who always made me read the books before I saw the movie. Doing that taught me a truth at a young age that is so simple that it has become cliche: "the book is better than the movie." But most often, that little sentence is thrown out there and then forgotten like yesterday's news. Or it is said half-heartedly, with the sayer reserving a secret deep inside of him/her that goes something like: "Even if it is considered unintelligent to think so, I have more fun watching the movies."
Why is this? Why do some openly admit that the books are always better than the movie, but refuse to admit that they liked the movies more? Well get ready, because I know why. It's because the mediums are different. Now, that doesn't seem to be some earth-shattering revelation, it is an easily observable fact. But the implications of that fact are often overlooked. The implications of this difference manifest themselves in the schizophrenic attitude of our day about the mediums themselves. Aside from the obvious differences between books and movies, the difference that has the most drastic impact is the amount of time it takes for books to develop. You have to read. It takes time. Books are long. And movies are short. And yes, I realize that I've already lost half of my audience because they didn't make it past the first paragraph.
But there is purpose in the time books take to develop. You get to experience true character development. When the reader is forced to live and laugh and love with the characters, the readers get to experience the lives of the characters in an intimate way. You can't close your eyes to the dirty parts of a character's thoughts or motivations. When you read, you get to use the limitless power of your imagination. There are no actors to pay, or props to set up, no stages to dress. It happens on-the-fly, exactly the way you want it. And after you've spent hours and hours reading and Jay Gatsby finally dies, you feel just as empty as Nick as he watches Gatsby's balloon of extravagance deflate (you see what I did there? Best transition ever.) And that is a feeling that will always be lost in translation from the book to the silver screen, no matter how great the acting is, or how "real" the 3D makes it, simply because you haven't paid the emotional cost of reading for hours.
Movies are all about spectacle. In this aspect, they do in fact trump books. There is simply no amount of description on a page that will equal hearing and seeing a gigantic explosion on a 500-foot screen in a movie theater equipped with the latest cinematic Dolby surround sound. There is something grand about seeing hundreds of thousands of orcs screaming battle-cries on the fields of Pelennor. Not all movie adaptions are bad. I mean, I waited in line to see every midnight showing of the LOTR movies. Some directors try to stay true to what the author was trying to accomplish. They try to convey a message rather than fit in all the events. They try to stay as true to the material and act as a clean window through which the work can shine for itself.
This is not what Baz Luhrmann does. He is more of a stained-glass window. Everything he touches becomes "BAZ LUHRMANN'S [fill in the blank.]" And it has me going, "what about F. Scott?" But again, my gripe isn't necessarily with the fact that they are adapting the book, I like some book adaptions. What I don't like is that Baz doesn't trust his source material enough to speak on its own, so he gets JAY Z to executive produce. In doing so he is forcing the movie to be relevant to us. "Hey kids, look at this! Isn't it great?" And instead of the movie being about the fruitlessness of pursuing wealth and leisure, it becomes about the glamour of pursuing wealth and leisure. The movie itself starts to become a promo for the soundtrack, and the book is completely forgotten. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztO3sZMQzW8
Back when I was still debating on whether or not to even see the movie, I watched and interview where Luhrmann stated that he even cut the funeral scene out of the theatrical release of the movie. This is essentially when I decided not to see the movie. Because the funeral scene is arguably the most important part of the book. It's what finally compels Nick to move away from New York and the extravagant but empty lifestyle there. I guess it all makes sense though. This is the perfect movie to sum up our day and age in which we are so willing to exchange fun and spectacle for real connection and a better experience, simply because it takes more effort. Yes the movie may be fun, but the book was better.
Baz doesn't get my money, and please Fitzgerald, don't roll over too hard.
[Keep Following. And I am sad, because Leonardo DiCaprio makes a stunning Gatsby and probably gives an A+ performance. Just like in my upcoming post.]
Why is this? Why do some openly admit that the books are always better than the movie, but refuse to admit that they liked the movies more? Well get ready, because I know why. It's because the mediums are different. Now, that doesn't seem to be some earth-shattering revelation, it is an easily observable fact. But the implications of that fact are often overlooked. The implications of this difference manifest themselves in the schizophrenic attitude of our day about the mediums themselves. Aside from the obvious differences between books and movies, the difference that has the most drastic impact is the amount of time it takes for books to develop. You have to read. It takes time. Books are long. And movies are short. And yes, I realize that I've already lost half of my audience because they didn't make it past the first paragraph.
But there is purpose in the time books take to develop. You get to experience true character development. When the reader is forced to live and laugh and love with the characters, the readers get to experience the lives of the characters in an intimate way. You can't close your eyes to the dirty parts of a character's thoughts or motivations. When you read, you get to use the limitless power of your imagination. There are no actors to pay, or props to set up, no stages to dress. It happens on-the-fly, exactly the way you want it. And after you've spent hours and hours reading and Jay Gatsby finally dies, you feel just as empty as Nick as he watches Gatsby's balloon of extravagance deflate (you see what I did there? Best transition ever.) And that is a feeling that will always be lost in translation from the book to the silver screen, no matter how great the acting is, or how "real" the 3D makes it, simply because you haven't paid the emotional cost of reading for hours.
Movies are all about spectacle. In this aspect, they do in fact trump books. There is simply no amount of description on a page that will equal hearing and seeing a gigantic explosion on a 500-foot screen in a movie theater equipped with the latest cinematic Dolby surround sound. There is something grand about seeing hundreds of thousands of orcs screaming battle-cries on the fields of Pelennor. Not all movie adaptions are bad. I mean, I waited in line to see every midnight showing of the LOTR movies. Some directors try to stay true to what the author was trying to accomplish. They try to convey a message rather than fit in all the events. They try to stay as true to the material and act as a clean window through which the work can shine for itself.
This is not what Baz Luhrmann does. He is more of a stained-glass window. Everything he touches becomes "BAZ LUHRMANN'S [fill in the blank.]" And it has me going, "what about F. Scott?" But again, my gripe isn't necessarily with the fact that they are adapting the book, I like some book adaptions. What I don't like is that Baz doesn't trust his source material enough to speak on its own, so he gets JAY Z to executive produce. In doing so he is forcing the movie to be relevant to us. "Hey kids, look at this! Isn't it great?" And instead of the movie being about the fruitlessness of pursuing wealth and leisure, it becomes about the glamour of pursuing wealth and leisure. The movie itself starts to become a promo for the soundtrack, and the book is completely forgotten. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztO3sZMQzW8
Back when I was still debating on whether or not to even see the movie, I watched and interview where Luhrmann stated that he even cut the funeral scene out of the theatrical release of the movie. This is essentially when I decided not to see the movie. Because the funeral scene is arguably the most important part of the book. It's what finally compels Nick to move away from New York and the extravagant but empty lifestyle there. I guess it all makes sense though. This is the perfect movie to sum up our day and age in which we are so willing to exchange fun and spectacle for real connection and a better experience, simply because it takes more effort. Yes the movie may be fun, but the book was better.
Baz doesn't get my money, and please Fitzgerald, don't roll over too hard.
[Keep Following. And I am sad, because Leonardo DiCaprio makes a stunning Gatsby and probably gives an A+ performance. Just like in my upcoming post.]
17 February 2013
The Esteemed Self
I don't know where this came from. It's one of those times when I can't control the words. They flow like water from a breached levee. Sometimes I notice something that I feel like others notice but can't quite articulate. Much of this may sound cliche or trite, but it isn't. What I have to write is immensely, vastly important. There is almost no way to write this as a male and not sound like I am pandering to females for my own self-aggrandizement.
There are so many girls out there who are desperately seeking to be noticed. So many girls looking for validation in the wrong places, so many rebelling against any and all labels placed upon them, so many that languish in relative obscurity and a daily sense of smallness. I hear their silent screams. I follow their blogs, I look at their uploaded pictures, I read their statuses. And it makes me want to weep for all my powerlessness to do anything about it. If I could tell all the women in the world one thing, it would be: You have worth. It is an intrinsic, inborn, irrefutable worth. And it is immense.
You do not need to have this worth validated by any social, familial, or male groups. If I had the voice, I would shout this from the rooftops; if I had the courage, I would clutch every girl within my grasp and whisper this in their ear; if I had the means, I would start foundations to let every girl know what I know. There is so much more to life than the false hope offered by social media. You deserve more than what your magazines tell you. You are so much more than the narrow picture frames that would trap you. Real men don't want you to look like pornstars and act like immature boys. We want you to be the mothers of our children, our solace in times of trouble, and the sure foundation when the walls around us crumble.
You are wellsprings of power. But make no mistake, this is not power like men have. It is much greater. Not a brute reckless strength, but the innate strength of the hands that have nursed every generation since we began. Your strength waits in an endless reserve of gentle words and caresses. Your strength is not in your iron actions, but your ability to relent, to forgive, to weep, to express emotion. You are brave. Perhaps it is not on the battlefields of great wars, but your bravery is found in silent foxholes of despair where only your consoling embrace can comfort the frightened child, or husband, or stranger. This makes you infinite. This makes you indispensable.
Your body is a temple, respect it. Never apologize for feeling. Run away as fast as you can from any person who makes you feel insignificant, worthless, or anything short of astounding. The same even goes for other girls who make you feel this way. Or any media that does the same. Run away. Run away, and replace it with something positive. There are uplifting things to read, there are better friends out there, and there are some wonderful men out there. (Hint: They are usually not the ones society has programmed you to be attracted to.)
Please women, do not fall to pieces. The rest of us need you too damn much. And in my own insignificant way, I love you all.
[Keep Following.]
There are so many girls out there who are desperately seeking to be noticed. So many girls looking for validation in the wrong places, so many rebelling against any and all labels placed upon them, so many that languish in relative obscurity and a daily sense of smallness. I hear their silent screams. I follow their blogs, I look at their uploaded pictures, I read their statuses. And it makes me want to weep for all my powerlessness to do anything about it. If I could tell all the women in the world one thing, it would be: You have worth. It is an intrinsic, inborn, irrefutable worth. And it is immense.
You do not need to have this worth validated by any social, familial, or male groups. If I had the voice, I would shout this from the rooftops; if I had the courage, I would clutch every girl within my grasp and whisper this in their ear; if I had the means, I would start foundations to let every girl know what I know. There is so much more to life than the false hope offered by social media. You deserve more than what your magazines tell you. You are so much more than the narrow picture frames that would trap you. Real men don't want you to look like pornstars and act like immature boys. We want you to be the mothers of our children, our solace in times of trouble, and the sure foundation when the walls around us crumble.
You are wellsprings of power. But make no mistake, this is not power like men have. It is much greater. Not a brute reckless strength, but the innate strength of the hands that have nursed every generation since we began. Your strength waits in an endless reserve of gentle words and caresses. Your strength is not in your iron actions, but your ability to relent, to forgive, to weep, to express emotion. You are brave. Perhaps it is not on the battlefields of great wars, but your bravery is found in silent foxholes of despair where only your consoling embrace can comfort the frightened child, or husband, or stranger. This makes you infinite. This makes you indispensable.
Your body is a temple, respect it. Never apologize for feeling. Run away as fast as you can from any person who makes you feel insignificant, worthless, or anything short of astounding. The same even goes for other girls who make you feel this way. Or any media that does the same. Run away. Run away, and replace it with something positive. There are uplifting things to read, there are better friends out there, and there are some wonderful men out there. (Hint: They are usually not the ones society has programmed you to be attracted to.)
Please women, do not fall to pieces. The rest of us need you too damn much. And in my own insignificant way, I love you all.
[Keep Following.]
12 February 2013
Things I've Learned From Yoga
First, your body is going to look and feel weird. Get used to it. You wouldn't think it possible to bend and contort in such a lewd and inhumane fashion, but you'd be wrong. Sometimes it's hard to move.
Second, it's impossible not to laugh the first time you do the happy baby pose. Sometimes it's hard to be serene.
And finally, it is very relaxing to breathe deeply. But as the unfortunate, middle-aged woman in my class learned, sphincter control is of the utmost importance.
Sometimes it's hard to breathe deeply.
[Keep Following.]
Second, it's impossible not to laugh the first time you do the happy baby pose. Sometimes it's hard to be serene.
And finally, it is very relaxing to breathe deeply. But as the unfortunate, middle-aged woman in my class learned, sphincter control is of the utmost importance.
Sometimes it's hard to breathe deeply.
[Keep Following.]
06 December 2012
Top 5 Worst Bumper Stickers Of All Time
I haven't had good luck with lists, but this one is short. These are the best of the worst. The ones that make you want to rear-end the car in front of you. The ones that are the source of endless amounts of road rage. The little pieces of sticky paper that endanger peace talks in the Middle East. These are those kind. Here we go:
5. The Apple Logo.We get it. You like Apple products. But since Apple tries to play themselves off as more "intelligent" and "trendy" than the rest of the masses, I would think you would be smart enough to recognize when the company you worship is using you for FREE ADVERTISING. Yeah, that's right. That sticker isn't a prize to show to all your friends that you are better than them. The free sticker that came with your over-priced product is free because they have determined that the benefits of giving away something for free have outweighed the costs. But I guess it serves you right for spending the extra money in the first place. Don't get me wrong. I like Apple products. I just don't like Apple fanboys. Hence the number five worst bumper sticker of all time.
4. Outdated Campaign Stickers. Sorry to burst your bubble but William Jennings Bryan lost. Back in 1908. I get that you don't want to be "mainstream" but you've got to draw the line somewhere. There comes a point at which endorsing the losing candidate doesn't mean anything except you made an unpopular choice. Oh you voted for Nader in 1972? Who is he again? How about endorsing principles rather than candidates. But I digress. It's just lazy. If your candidate lost, I know it is heartbreaking, but stop dwelling in the past.
3. Family Caricatures. Seriously? What is the point of this? "I have a family, and we are cute!" So? First, you know those little pictures will be outdated in like six months right? And if you are dedicated enough to keep a true-to-life stick figure family on the back of your minivan, you need to get a hobby. Second, those things are not true. An accurate representation of your family would have a pregnant teen daughter, a coke-head son, and a snotty eight year-old. Where is that sticker? Oh here it is:
2. Tramp Stamp. I hardly have to write anything about this one. If you and your car have a matching tramp stamp, you need to reorganize your life. Wait. I just realized, when the souped-up Ram down the street with the fake testicles hanging off the hitch and the beat-up Tercel with the tramp stamp get together... the result can only be the Smart car. I don't want to rain on your parade, but do you ever see any nice cars with a tribal design or a butterfly with a fairy princess in the center of the rear window? No? That's because it's trashy. Even on a car. Time to get out the razor blade. For your car this time.
1. Twenty-six point two. AKA 26.2. We get it. You like to run. Awesome. I like to drive. Hence, the reason I am sitting in the car. I resent that I have to look at some conceited sticker bragging about how far you can jog. I feel like real marathon runners would have the decency to at least be a little ashamed about what they do. But just because you decided you could PAY real American dollars to run in a sponsored race doesn't mean you get to visually assault me. Also, I can't tell you the number of times I've passed a "marathon runner" only to see a tubby, worn-out house mom driving with a 40 oz. Sonic Cherry Limeade in one hand. Hmm. You have just removed any shred of legitimacy that sticker never had.
There you are folks. Enjoy. And if any of these apply to any of you, you are hereby no longer my friend until you remove the aforementioned sticker.Who thinks of these things? Oh yeah, I do.
[Keep Following. I swear I'm a gentle person even if my rants aren't. Some things just need to be said.]
5. The Apple Logo.We get it. You like Apple products. But since Apple tries to play themselves off as more "intelligent" and "trendy" than the rest of the masses, I would think you would be smart enough to recognize when the company you worship is using you for FREE ADVERTISING. Yeah, that's right. That sticker isn't a prize to show to all your friends that you are better than them. The free sticker that came with your over-priced product is free because they have determined that the benefits of giving away something for free have outweighed the costs. But I guess it serves you right for spending the extra money in the first place. Don't get me wrong. I like Apple products. I just don't like Apple fanboys. Hence the number five worst bumper sticker of all time.
 |
| Uhh, that would be think differently. But thanks for playing. |
4. Outdated Campaign Stickers. Sorry to burst your bubble but William Jennings Bryan lost. Back in 1908. I get that you don't want to be "mainstream" but you've got to draw the line somewhere. There comes a point at which endorsing the losing candidate doesn't mean anything except you made an unpopular choice. Oh you voted for Nader in 1972? Who is he again? How about endorsing principles rather than candidates. But I digress. It's just lazy. If your candidate lost, I know it is heartbreaking, but stop dwelling in the past.
 |
| Actually, that's kinda rad. |
3. Family Caricatures. Seriously? What is the point of this? "I have a family, and we are cute!" So? First, you know those little pictures will be outdated in like six months right? And if you are dedicated enough to keep a true-to-life stick figure family on the back of your minivan, you need to get a hobby. Second, those things are not true. An accurate representation of your family would have a pregnant teen daughter, a coke-head son, and a snotty eight year-old. Where is that sticker? Oh here it is:
 |
| Hmm. I may have to move this one down a spot. |
2. Tramp Stamp. I hardly have to write anything about this one. If you and your car have a matching tramp stamp, you need to reorganize your life. Wait. I just realized, when the souped-up Ram down the street with the fake testicles hanging off the hitch and the beat-up Tercel with the tramp stamp get together... the result can only be the Smart car. I don't want to rain on your parade, but do you ever see any nice cars with a tribal design or a butterfly with a fairy princess in the center of the rear window? No? That's because it's trashy. Even on a car. Time to get out the razor blade. For your car this time.
 |
| The essence of class. |
1. Twenty-six point two. AKA 26.2. We get it. You like to run. Awesome. I like to drive. Hence, the reason I am sitting in the car. I resent that I have to look at some conceited sticker bragging about how far you can jog. I feel like real marathon runners would have the decency to at least be a little ashamed about what they do. But just because you decided you could PAY real American dollars to run in a sponsored race doesn't mean you get to visually assault me. Also, I can't tell you the number of times I've passed a "marathon runner" only to see a tubby, worn-out house mom driving with a 40 oz. Sonic Cherry Limeade in one hand. Hmm. You have just removed any shred of legitimacy that sticker never had.
 |
| Ugh. TERRIBLE. |
There you are folks. Enjoy. And if any of these apply to any of you, you are hereby no longer my friend until you remove the aforementioned sticker.Who thinks of these things? Oh yeah, I do.
[Keep Following. I swear I'm a gentle person even if my rants aren't. Some things just need to be said.]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)