Judgment

I had an interesting experience. I now work in the electronics section of Costco. I approached someone to answer his obvious questions about the hard drive he was staring down like a cow stares at an oncoming train. He then asked me if another employee that I work with was there. I replied that he was on break and that I was happy to answer his questions.

Somewhat reluctantly he asked me his question. After I answered, he then bombarded me with questions about all sorts of different things for the next forty minutes. When he was out of questions, he took a step back and regarded me from top to bottom. His next statement surprised me. "When you first came up, you looked like you would know more about athletics than electronics." I was slightly flustered at his candor. It's safe to say that it gave me some food for thought.

It's amazing how much we judge. We do it so much we don't even know how much we do it. I did it as well when I first approached him. And it made me realize that my choice of major in college also surprises people. It's funny that people equate physical prowess with a lack of higher brain function and creativity. As if I need to be skinny and nerdy to be creative. This was especially apparent when my teacher unexpectedly asked me to present my paper to my senior seminar class the other day. This was the college equivalent of the teacher reading the names aloud of the kids who got an A on the spelling quiz in first grade. As I read my thesis statement in a paper about false conceptions about love in LDS culture as made apparent in the movie Inception, I could almost hear my fellow classmates' opinion of me changing.

Now I don't say this to set myself up as a pariah or anything, it's just interesting. Because the opposite may also be true. As much as we categorize and label others negatively, the opposite also occurs. Too often, we are inclined to give others the benefit of the doubt. Especially when they appear to be so happy and "put together" or when they fit in with our prejudices. When in fact, often "in the quiet heart is hidden / sorrow that the eye can't see."

[Keep Following. Food for thought.]

The General Rules #3 - Smells

One may not instantly understand the importance of this topic, or even how it relates to dating, love, relationships, and other matters of the heart. But you will understand when I am finished.

Let's start with the obvious. Personal Hygiene. I've had the good fortune to travel to different countries across the world. I've had the good fortune to live abroad for extended periods. I've had the good fortune to learn about new cultures and ways of conducting myself. I've had the good fortune to learn about customs and practices different from my own. I've had the good fortune to walk down cobbled streets and peruse open-air markets during a Swiss spring.

But I have also had the sore misfortune of riding crowded public transportation during a humid German summer. I've tasted with my nose the odors of a hundred ethnicities, and breathed the sour spice of too many Italian armpits. This was only my misfortune because I had the good fortune of being born right here in 'Murrca--Land of the Free, Home of the Deodorant Stick.

Now that you know of my experience in this field, I may speak in an authoritative manner. It really isn't a huge problem here, but because I still encounter the rogue human who refuses to shower, and insists upon arresting the noses of those around him with a vapor cloud of BO, it needs to be said. Bathe yourself often. It doesn't take long. The days of Papal prohibited Ablutions are over. It is 2011, give it a try.

After scrubbing various orifices, apply deodorant. Even if you "don't plan on sweating" or "don't think you need it." You do. Everyone does. Everyone smells. Any deodorant or anti-perspirant will work. Except AXE. Axe body sprays are like the annoying new guy at work, we all tolerate him because we have to. We give him the benefit of the doubt because he is not familiar with the unwritten worker's code. But secretly we all want to get the new guy fired. I've never witnessed anyone call out an Axe-wearer for smelling like a trash can coated with grandpa's aftershave, so I guess I'll be that guy. YOU SMELL LIKE A TRASH CAN COATED WITH GRANDPA'S AFTERSHAVE.

Moving on to Cologne, and ladies, to your perfume. In the book How to be a Gentleman, we find this statement that speaks for itself. So there is no need for me to go on and on about how horrible it is when guys or girls wear too much scent and how too many guys insist upon dumping gallons and gallons and gallons of Acqua Di Gio on their already AXE-coated tanning bed-brown skin, so much so that it becomes the only thing that an entire crowd of people can smell for the next three weeks. I won't need to talk about that because this quote is so good.

"A gentleman considers cologne intimate apparel. It should not cause comment, positive or negative, among other people in the room. Instead, it should be saved as a pleasant surprise for people with whom he makes close physical contact. A gentleman understands that cologne is, after all, an accessory. It is not to be used as a substitute for deodorant... When used to excess, cologne is annoying and raises questions about what smells are being covered up. Anytime a person can identify the brand of scent that a man is wearing, he is wearing too much."

The same applies to you ladies, if I can tell that you are wearing Vera Wang Princess from fifteen yards away, it's gross. The problem with scents nowadays is that they are expensive, so everyone feels the need to let everyone else know what they are wearing, so that everyone else will know how much money they have. When the truth is, too much of even the best scent can make you smell like the toothless carnie who runs the ferris wheel.

We live in an age of smell-excess. If you don't believe me just head in the general direction of your local mall, and about a mile off you will start to smell the rhino-nuclear explosion that is Bath & Body Works. That place is like the Chernobyl of the nasal community. So please, for my sake, for all our sakes, and for the sanctity of our noses, use moderation. Also, destroy your AXE.

[Keep following, your love IQ just went up 10 points]