I'm (Almost) Back.

This isn't a real post. Sorry to disappoint all of you who have been so patiently waiting. And I know you've been waiting. I looked at my Google analytics readout, and despite the notice I gave about not blogging for the whole month of November, I still only had 5 days during the month when no one visited my blog. I don't know whether to laugh at you losers that had nothing better to do than visit a stagnant blog or to thank you for being so dedicated. So I guess I'll do both: HAHA. Thanks so much!

To those of you who are wondering how NaNoWriMo went, I have an answer.  My expectations weren't not exceeded further than possibly allowable considering the dire circumstances under which the writer found himself inevitably placed. Moving on...

Finals are coming, and I'm beginning to find that "the soothing light at the end of [my] tunnel / is just a freight train comin' [my] way." Which is why this is only a slight, poorly written, hold-over post until I can scoop my brains from the pavement and get my bearings again once finals are over.

The good thing about this hiatus has been that I now have a few good ideas for new posts. Be excited.

[Keep following, there's always next time.]

The General Rules #1 - Breaking Up

A strange thing. To begin with the end. But with this topic, as with many others, the process is cyclical. The beginning and the end are closer than we may think. Also, in light of recent events in my life, this is also a fitting place to start. And until we are taken out of this cycle (by getting married), one dare not speak of love without heartbreak.

Get ready. I’m about to flip your world on its head. Ready? Many think that the opposite of love is hate.

It isn’t.

This last semester in my Intro to the English Language course we discussed this concept at length. This is a semantic issue. When discussing opposites we learned how to make a binary grid to analyze the components of a word. It looked something like this:

                                              RELATION   Male   Senior   Directly Related
                                              Father              +         +                   +
                                              Mother             -          +                   +
                                              Niece               -           -                    -

A binary grid uses randomly assigned components to examine what the chosen words have in common. Based on the features chosen we can conclude that the opposite of a father is in fact a niece. Or, if one were to assign a new feature such as “Animate” after “Directly Related” the opposite of a father would probably end up being a rock or something of the sort. In this particular example we find that the words father and mother actually share many common traits. They are differentiated by one degree. So it often is with what we call “Opposites.”

                                              FEELINGS   Positive    Intense   Concern
                                              Love                +             +            +
                                              Hate                 -             +             +
                                              Apathy             -              -             -

From my cleverly devised Binary Grid, one may conclude that the opposite of “Love” is actually a state we call “Apathy,” which by its definition is a “state of indifference”. Apathy is by its nature a suppression of emotion. Love and hate are only separated by one degree: the positive nature of the feeling. Love and hate both involve a certain amount of intensity and concern (positive or negative) about a person. Apathy, on the other hand, involves nothing of the sort.

I tell you these things to tell you this: You can never “get over” someone without forgiving them. It does not matter in the least what that person has done to you. For if you presumptuously assume that you can banish your love by switching it to hate, in order to forget someone, you will never be able to fully let things go. The two are too closely related. Because of this bond, rousing one will also rouse the other. This would lead to years of pent-up emotion that is only softened by a very human forgetfulness. We can forget our feelings, but all it takes is one chance encounter or errant wedding invitation to stir up those old love/hate emotions.

I am not by any means suggesting that we must become apathetic towards someone we have formerly loved. (Because that would simply be a weapon of buried and harbored hate.) Only forgiveness solves this problem. Forgiveness erases hate and apathy and fills us with contented sincerity towards the other person. It cleanses us, not them. And allows us to move forward with hope rather than resentment.

But wait! you exclaim, what about those who have done the breaking up? I will tell you. Rest easy. A few thoughts can be comforting. First, always remember that no one starts dating someone else in order to hurt their feelings. (This is all assuming you have broken up with the person under amiable circumstances{as far as breaking up with someone allows}and not fickle or petty or evil reasons.) Second, take comfort in the things you felt. As my wise-beyond-his-years brother once said, “It is going to fail until it works.” It is as simple as that. The relationship was either right or it was not. Trust your feelings, though it may be the hardest thing you have ever done. And last, do not concern yourself with whether or not you can express what you feel. One shared attribute that could be placed on the end of the Feelings Binary Grid could be “Inexpressible.” This would be something that all emotions would score a plus on. Trying to describe what you feel would be like trying to describe a color to a blind person. Red is red, just as black is black, just as love is love, and knowing it’s right is knowing it’s right. It simply is. Or it isn’t.

This is one thing that is simple with regards to love. It is getting to this point during which all the confusion arises. But let’s save that for another time.

[Keep following. If it please you.]

Lifeguard... Duty...

Just look at him. All smug on his little tower. Some have called them aquatic saviors. Others have called them guarders of life. Be not deceived, for they are the fun killers. 

You may think they are innocent enough. They have a tough job. They brave the suns harmful rays day after day just to keep us safe. With their cheap sunglasses and billowing shirts, they are like Batman. If the pool were Gotham City. And the swimmers criminals. And after all, we pay them to stop us from doing dangerous things right?

Wrong. We pay them to save our lives if we happened to drink a bottle of Jack before swimming. We pay them to bandage toes and perform CPR. We don't pay them to be the fun police. Who are they to stop me from running? Who are they to put an end to my chicken fight? If I want to run amok and go down the slide backwards, it is my god-given right. And they better be there to save me if I happen to crack open my skull on the bottom of the pool.

The rules they enforce have been handed down over centuries. They are no longer relevant. The "No Running" rule stems from the before-time when Roman baths were covered in tile and running meant certain death to all toga-wearing patrons. This is outdated. Today's poolsides are covered in textured concrete that resembles course sandpaper. Let me run freely to the diving board. 

So to all lifeguards, I say, stop sucking the fun out of the pool. And take off those shoes. If I'm drowning, I don't want you unlacing your Sketchers and pulling off your socks before you dive in.

[Keep following because the summer has just begun. Also, more rants to follow.]