14 June 2011

The General Rules #6 - Timing Isn't Everything

Yes folks, here is another installment of the General Rules. These posts are about the dating and relationship world, of which I am the uncrowned king. Indeed, my vast pool of knowledge knows no bounds. At any moment in a conversation I will nonchalantly spout some unmatched wisdom about an everlasting dating principle. When this occurs, it is the job of my polo instructor, Stewart, to write down my pontification. The following comes from one such account:

Timing isn't everything. There are literally hundreds of factors that come into play when considering why one should or should not begin or continue to date someone. Timing makes up just a small part of all these factors. This list of factors is a little bit shorter than my arm. (Because I am king, no factor is beyond my reach.) I'd like to list several of the most important factors and ruminate on a few. We'll only scratch the surface of these factors simply for brevity's sake:


1. Chemistry. This might seem like a cop-out because this factor is a broad label for an extremely nuanced subject. I'm not talking about physical chemistry, that comes later. I'm talking about the unspoken chemistry. The straws you grasp at when telling friends how it feels to be around that person. The feelings and impulses that lie just out of the realm of comprehension. These feelings are like repelling magnets, for every step you take in trying to quantify why you may feel a certain way, they push a little bit further away. Trying to describe why you feel a certain way about someone and why is like trying to see an atom with your naked eye. It is there, you know it is. You can feel it. But no matter how hard or how long you stare, you will be no closer to the truth than when you started. But how you feel is so important when making a choice because these feelings are always right, even though they sometimes defy logic.

2. Ideals. Similar world views and standards contribute to feelings of similarity and closeness.

3. Humor. This is the cherry on top of chemistry; the fun in funfetti.

4. Similar socioeconomic status. Women need support. And whether or not they are willing to admit it, they will often choose a boy with more money or money potential over a boy with more chemistry, simply because their instinct tells them that he can provide for offspring.

5. Physical Attraction. This is a more influential factor for men than for women. Men are visually stimulated and  will often choose a more attractive girl over one less attractive, even if the chemistry is stronger with the latter. I don't know why this is. Social conditioning maybe. But perhaps it is because we know our offspring have a better chance of replicating if they are better looking. Or perhaps we are just horny and know we won't have the desire to reproduce with a less attractive female.

Again, these are very broad and do not begin to cover all the bases of dating factors. But even if all these factors are apparent in a relationship or potential relationship, the relationship will still sometimes fail. Even if a couple is attracted (and attractive), even if they feel all those unspoken twitterpations, even if they are in love, even if they have the same ideals and religion, even if they are hilarious together, even if they are both wealthy or both poor, relationships still fail. People still break up. Couples are still torn apart. Men and women still stay up nights thinking and sorrowing. Boys and girls still weep. And the lonely still fight constant battles against despair in the confines of the heart. This is because timing isn't everything. It is the only thing.

[Keep Following, my loyal subjects.]